you are kind and good,
my Friend and Brother
who loves me
and loves me still.
Thank you for showing me the bedrock of my shame,
my propensity to punish myself,
compensate, cover up, and strive,
holding onto reputation and my image,
a variety to choose from,
the right face for the right crowd…
when I’ve isolated so much
that no one is watching anymore,
and I’m invisible, even to myself.
I surrender Lord.
I see the fallacy of being my own judge,
utterly incapable, inept at salvaging my life,
or ever leading my life without you.
I surrender all to you.
loving and gracious in your gaze,
that you’d show me your mercy
where I thought I could never receive,
set me free from a past
that clung to the marrow of my bones.
freed by your mercy,
you the only One who can forgive my sin,
and I’m in awe of the oceans of your peace
that separate me from shame and guilt,
set free for your call,
an abundant life blessed with your goodness,
now no one’s slave,
least of all my own,
a bondservant of the Most High God alone.
I bless you Lord,
and will praise you all my days.